Do You Have Time for a New Friendship?
How to Bring New People Into Your Life
Many people talk about wanting to make new friends, but the fact is you really need to make time to get a friendship off the ground.
Established friendships can go through periods where people are busy and don’t have time to devote to one another. At the same time, they can call each other up when they do have time and reconnect in a moment. They don’t need to constantly nurture their friendship in order to keep it alive, because they’ve been pals a long time and have probably already done the hard work to bond for the long haul.
Time Needed to Meet New People
You can’t find new friends if you’re not meeting new people in general. The time needed to make a new pal can vary, however, depending on how many people you meet and who you end up bonding with. The best way to meet new people is to start with the activities you already enjoy and see if you can join a related group. That way you’ll instantly have something in common with the other people there.
Time to Get to Know Someone New
Okay, so you’ve met a bunch of new people, and even found one or two that you think you could be friends with. Now, you need to find out what you have in common and if they could be a part of your life. All of this takes time, and you can’t rush it. Some new friendships happen quickly, but others can take months or longer.
Failure to let a relationship take time to grow naturally is what trips up many people who are trying to make friends.
They get impatient, which is understandable, especially if you’re lonely and you just want to bond with someone. If you try and “go too fast” in getting to know someone, you’ll scare them off. Everyone needs to bond at the rate that is comfortable for them. Still, when you want more than anything to make friends, it can be difficult to hang in there with a new relationship rather than give up with the assumption that if you aren’t friends now you never will be.
The best bet to try to “speed up” the process of becoming better friends with someone is to try to spend as much time together as is comfortable for both of you. Make an effort to ask your friend questions about themselves, and share stories from your own life so your friend can get a better sense of who you are.
Time to Keep the Friendship Going
When you feel like you’ve finally made a connection (and can actually call someone a friend), you need to devote time to keep this new friendship going strong. This is very important in the beginning, because even if you and a pal start hitting it off, your friendship may wither away if you take too much time before seeing each other again. The best bet is to plan consistent activities such as coffee and lunch dates to be sure that you’re able to connect on a regular basis.
Where Will Your New Friend Fit Into Your Life?
As a final note, be cognizant how a new friend might fit into your present schedule. Are there pockets of time you can move around to accommodate meeting and spending time with a new friend?
If not, think about how you can incorporate this person into your life. Maybe it’s as simple as inviting them into your social group, and having them join the activities you already do. Or maybe you need to give up something else in order to make the new friendship work.
There are no right or wrong answers for this, because each friendship is different. Once you’re aware of how much time a new friendship takes, you’ll be that much more successful in bringing new people into your life.